A mature lady gets pulled over for speeding… Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer? Officer: Ma’am, you were speeding. Older Woman: Oh, I see. Officer: Can I see your driver’s license, please? The mature lady, slightly flustered, fumbles through her purse to retrieve her license. She hands it over to the officer, who takes…
His daughter wanted to say a prayer before sleeping, so the father listened. “God bless mommy, God bless daddy, God bless Grandma, Goodbye Grandpa,” the little girl recited. The father, puzzled, asked, “Why did you say goodbye Grandpa?” The little girl replied innocently, “I don’t know, it just seemed like the right thing to say.”…
The father’s eyes widened in shock as he listened to his son’s disturbing confession. Concern and disbelief crossed his face, and he quickly realized the gravity of the situation. Taking a deep breath, the father decided to address the underlying issues causing such extreme thoughts in his son. “Son, I can’t condone or support any…
An older, tired-looking dog wandered into my yard. From his collar and well-fed belly, I could tell he had a home and was well taken care of. Calmly, he approached me. I gave him a gentle pat on the head and immediately noticed the sadness in his eyes. As I continued to stroke his fur,…
The blonde recently started working at a village pharmacy and felt nervous about selling condoms to customers. When the pharmacist went on vacation for a few days, he asked her to manage the shop in his absence. She confessed her concerns about selling condoms to him. “Listen,” he reassured her, “my regular customers don’t ask…
The Mexican maid requested a raise from her employer. The woman, feeling upset about this, decided to inquire about the maid’s request. She asked, “Maria, why do you believe you deserve a raise?” Maria replied, “Well, señora, there are three reasons why I’m seeking a promotion. Firstly, I am better at caressing than you.” The…
A Texan man was vacationing in Mexico, spending his day wandering around the area and taking in the sights. In the evening, he decided to dine at a trendy restaurant. While enjoying his tequila, he couldn’t help but notice a couple at a nearby table being served a beautifully decorated platter with two giant meatballs…
The old farmer left his 17 horses to his three sons. The sons, Hansons, were faced with a dilemma as to how to divide the horses among themselves. The instructions were as follows: Since it was impossible to divide 17 by 2, 17 by 3, or 17 by 9 without fractions or decimals, the sons…
The next time you feel angry and tempted to say something hurtful to someone, pause and reflect on this story—it’s worth remembering. Once upon a time, there was a boy with a bad temper. His father gave him a bag of nails and instructed him that whenever he felt angry, he should hammer a nail…
An Irishman from Armagh entered the confessional and confessed to the priest, “I almost had sex with another woman.” The priest, taken aback, asked, “What do you mean ‘almost’?” “Well,” replied the Irishman, “we took off our clothes and rubbed together, but I stopped.” The priest sternly responded, “To intend to commit the act is…