An Irishman from Armagh entered the confessional and confessed to the priest, “I almost had sex with another woman.”
The priest, taken aback, asked, “What do you mean ‘almost’?”
“Well,” replied the Irishman, “we took off our clothes and rubbed together, but I stopped.”
The priest sternly responded, “To intend to commit the act is as good as doing it. You must never see that woman again. Say five Hail Marys for penance and donate $50 to the poor box.”
The contrite Irishman left the confessional to pray and then proceeded to the poor box. However, as he was about to leave, the observant priest approached him.
“I saw that,” the priest said. “You didn’t put any money in the poor box!”
The Irishman retorted, “True, but I did spend $50 on my own box, and it seems like you’ve noticed!”
