An elderly couple decided to spice up their love life and tried Viagra for the first time. The husband took the pill and, with a mischievous grin, said, “I’m ready for action!”
His wife, equally excited, replied, “Well, be careful not to overdo it. We don’t want the neighbors thinking we’re having a yard sale!”
The old farmer left his 17 horses to his three sons. The sons, Hansons, were faced with a dilemma as to how to divide the horses among themselves. The instructions were as follows: Since it was impossible to divide 17 by 2, 17 by 3, or 17 by 9 without fractions or decimals, the sons…
His daughter wanted to say a prayer before sleeping, so the father listened. “God bless mommy, God bless daddy, God bless Grandma, Goodbye Grandpa,” the little girl recited. The father, puzzled, asked, “Why did you say goodbye Grandpa?” The little girl replied innocently, “I don’t know, it just seemed like the right thing to say.”…
A mature lady gets pulled over for speeding… Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer? Officer: Ma’am, you were speeding. Older Woman: Oh, I see. Officer: Can I see your driver’s license, please? The mature lady, slightly flustered, fumbles through her purse to retrieve her license. She hands it over to the officer, who takes…
An elderly couple is enjoying breakfast when the old woman turns to her husband and asks, “Honey, do you realize we’ve been married for 50 years?” “Yes,” he replies. “Fifty years ago, we sat right here at this breakfast table together. And I bet we were as naked as jaybirds.” The old woman giggles and…
A Texan man was vacationing in Mexico, spending his day wandering around the area and taking in the sights. In the evening, he decided to dine at a trendy restaurant. While enjoying his tequila, he couldn’t help but notice a couple at a nearby table being served a beautifully decorated platter with two giant meatballs…
An older, tired-looking dog wandered into my yard. From his collar and well-fed belly, I could tell he had a home and was well taken care of. Calmly, he approached me. I gave him a gentle pat on the head and immediately noticed the sadness in his eyes. As I continued to stroke his fur,…
