An elderly couple decided to spice up their love life and tried Viagra for the first time. The husband took the pill and, with a mischievous grin, said, “I’m ready for action!”
His wife, equally excited, replied, “Well, be careful not to overdo it. We don’t want the neighbors thinking we’re having a yard sale!”
A Texan man was vacationing in Mexico, spending his day wandering around the area and taking in the sights. In the evening, he decided to dine at a trendy restaurant. While enjoying his tequila, he couldn’t help but notice a couple at a nearby table being served a beautifully decorated platter with two giant meatballs…
On death row, there were a German, an Italian, and a redneck. The warden presented them with three options for execution: to be shot, hanged, or injected with the AIDS virus for a slow death. The German promptly chose to be shot in the head. With a boom, he died instantly. Next, the Italian opted…
His daughter wanted to say a prayer before sleeping, so the father listened. “God bless mommy, God bless daddy, God bless Grandma, Goodbye Grandpa,” the little girl recited. The father, puzzled, asked, “Why did you say goodbye Grandpa?” The little girl replied innocently, “I don’t know, it just seemed like the right thing to say.”…
The old farmer left his 17 horses to his three sons. The sons, Hansons, were faced with a dilemma as to how to divide the horses among themselves. The instructions were as follows: Since it was impossible to divide 17 by 2, 17 by 3, or 17 by 9 without fractions or decimals, the sons…
The 92-year-old gentleman visited his yearly check-up, and the doctor, taken aback by his vigor, inquired, “How are you feeling?” The elderly man grinned, “Absolutely splendid, Doc! I’ve never been better!” Intrigued, the doctor asked, “What’s your secret? Any particular diet or exercise routine?” With a chuckle, the elderly man replied, “Not at all. I…
A mature lady gets pulled over for speeding… Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer? Officer: Ma’am, you were speeding. Older Woman: Oh, I see. Officer: Can I see your driver’s license, please? The mature lady, slightly flustered, fumbles through her purse to retrieve her license. She hands it over to the officer, who takes…
