An elderly couple decided to spice up their love life and tried Viagra for the first time. The husband took the pill and, with a mischievous grin, said, “I’m ready for action!”
His wife, equally excited, replied, “Well, be careful not to overdo it. We don’t want the neighbors thinking we’re having a yard sale!”
An older, tired-looking dog wandered into my yard. From his collar and well-fed belly, I could tell he had a home and was well taken care of. Calmly, he approached me. I gave him a gentle pat on the head and immediately noticed the sadness in his eyes. As I continued to stroke his fur,…
The blonde recently started working at a village pharmacy and felt nervous about selling condoms to customers. When the pharmacist went on vacation for a few days, he asked her to manage the shop in his absence. She confessed her concerns about selling condoms to him. “Listen,” he reassured her, “my regular customers don’t ask…
An Irishman from Armagh entered the confessional and confessed to the priest, “I almost had sex with another woman.” The priest, taken aback, asked, “What do you mean ‘almost’?” “Well,” replied the Irishman, “we took off our clothes and rubbed together, but I stopped.” The priest sternly responded, “To intend to commit the act is…
A mature lady gets pulled over for speeding… Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer? Officer: Ma’am, you were speeding. Older Woman: Oh, I see. Officer: Can I see your driver’s license, please? The mature lady, slightly flustered, fumbles through her purse to retrieve her license. She hands it over to the officer, who takes…
The 92-year-old gentleman visited his yearly check-up, and the doctor, taken aback by his vigor, inquired, “How are you feeling?” The elderly man grinned, “Absolutely splendid, Doc! I’ve never been better!” Intrigued, the doctor asked, “What’s your secret? Any particular diet or exercise routine?” With a chuckle, the elderly man replied, “Not at all. I…
On death row, there were a German, an Italian, and a redneck. The warden presented them with three options for execution: to be shot, hanged, or injected with the AIDS virus for a slow death. The German promptly chose to be shot in the head. With a boom, he died instantly. Next, the Italian opted…
