An elderly couple decided to spice up their love life and tried Viagra for the first time. The husband took the pill and, with a mischievous grin, said, “I’m ready for action!”
His wife, equally excited, replied, “Well, be careful not to overdo it. We don’t want the neighbors thinking we’re having a yard sale!”
The blonde recently started working at a village pharmacy and felt nervous about selling condoms to customers. When the pharmacist went on vacation for a few days, he asked her to manage the shop in his absence. She confessed her concerns about selling condoms to him. “Listen,” he reassured her, “my regular customers don’t ask…
The old farmer left his 17 horses to his three sons. The sons, Hansons, were faced with a dilemma as to how to divide the horses among themselves. The instructions were as follows: Since it was impossible to divide 17 by 2, 17 by 3, or 17 by 9 without fractions or decimals, the sons…
An Irishman from Armagh entered the confessional and confessed to the priest, “I almost had sex with another woman.” The priest, taken aback, asked, “What do you mean ‘almost’?” “Well,” replied the Irishman, “we took off our clothes and rubbed together, but I stopped.” The priest sternly responded, “To intend to commit the act is…
On death row, there were a German, an Italian, and a redneck. The warden presented them with three options for execution: to be shot, hanged, or injected with the AIDS virus for a slow death. The German promptly chose to be shot in the head. With a boom, he died instantly. Next, the Italian opted…
An elderly couple is enjoying breakfast when the old woman turns to her husband and asks, “Honey, do you realize we’ve been married for 50 years?” “Yes,” he replies. “Fifty years ago, we sat right here at this breakfast table together. And I bet we were as naked as jaybirds.” The old woman giggles and…
An older, tired-looking dog wandered into my yard. From his collar and well-fed belly, I could tell he had a home and was well taken care of. Calmly, he approached me. I gave him a gentle pat on the head and immediately noticed the sadness in his eyes. As I continued to stroke his fur,…
