An elderly couple decided to spice up their love life and tried Viagra for the first time. The husband took the pill and, with a mischievous grin, said, “I’m ready for action!”
His wife, equally excited, replied, “Well, be careful not to overdo it. We don’t want the neighbors thinking we’re having a yard sale!”
A mature lady gets pulled over for speeding… Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer? Officer: Ma’am, you were speeding. Older Woman: Oh, I see. Officer: Can I see your driver’s license, please? The mature lady, slightly flustered, fumbles through her purse to retrieve her license. She hands it over to the officer, who takes…
The old farmer left his 17 horses to his three sons. The sons, Hansons, were faced with a dilemma as to how to divide the horses among themselves. The instructions were as follows: Since it was impossible to divide 17 by 2, 17 by 3, or 17 by 9 without fractions or decimals, the sons…
On death row, there were a German, an Italian, and a redneck. The warden presented them with three options for execution: to be shot, hanged, or injected with the AIDS virus for a slow death. The German promptly chose to be shot in the head. With a boom, he died instantly. Next, the Italian opted…
An elderly couple is enjoying breakfast when the old woman turns to her husband and asks, “Honey, do you realize we’ve been married for 50 years?” “Yes,” he replies. “Fifty years ago, we sat right here at this breakfast table together. And I bet we were as naked as jaybirds.” The old woman giggles and…
The 92-year-old gentleman visited his yearly check-up, and the doctor, taken aback by his vigor, inquired, “How are you feeling?” The elderly man grinned, “Absolutely splendid, Doc! I’ve never been better!” Intrigued, the doctor asked, “What’s your secret? Any particular diet or exercise routine?” With a chuckle, the elderly man replied, “Not at all. I…
The father’s eyes widened in shock as he listened to his son’s disturbing confession. Concern and disbelief crossed his face, and he quickly realized the gravity of the situation. Taking a deep breath, the father decided to address the underlying issues causing such extreme thoughts in his son. “Son, I can’t condone or support any…
