An elderly couple decided to spice up their love life and tried Viagra for the first time. The husband took the pill and, with a mischievous grin, said, “I’m ready for action!”
His wife, equally excited, replied, “Well, be careful not to overdo it. We don’t want the neighbors thinking we’re having a yard sale!”
The old farmer left his 17 horses to his three sons. The sons, Hansons, were faced with a dilemma as to how to divide the horses among themselves. The instructions were as follows: Since it was impossible to divide 17 by 2, 17 by 3, or 17 by 9 without fractions or decimals, the sons…
The blonde recently started working at a village pharmacy and felt nervous about selling condoms to customers. When the pharmacist went on vacation for a few days, he asked her to manage the shop in his absence. She confessed her concerns about selling condoms to him. “Listen,” he reassured her, “my regular customers don’t ask…
An Irishman from Armagh entered the confessional and confessed to the priest, “I almost had sex with another woman.” The priest, taken aback, asked, “What do you mean ‘almost’?” “Well,” replied the Irishman, “we took off our clothes and rubbed together, but I stopped.” The priest sternly responded, “To intend to commit the act is…
His daughter wanted to say a prayer before sleeping, so the father listened. “God bless mommy, God bless daddy, God bless Grandma, Goodbye Grandpa,” the little girl recited. The father, puzzled, asked, “Why did you say goodbye Grandpa?” The little girl replied innocently, “I don’t know, it just seemed like the right thing to say.”…
A mature lady gets pulled over for speeding… Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer? Officer: Ma’am, you were speeding. Older Woman: Oh, I see. Officer: Can I see your driver’s license, please? The mature lady, slightly flustered, fumbles through her purse to retrieve her license. She hands it over to the officer, who takes…
The next time you feel angry and tempted to say something hurtful to someone, pause and reflect on this story—it’s worth remembering. Once upon a time, there was a boy with a bad temper. His father gave him a bag of nails and instructed him that whenever he felt angry, he should hammer a nail…
