A Texan man was vacationing in Mexico, spending his day wandering around the area and taking in the sights. In the evening, he decided to dine at a trendy restaurant. While enjoying his tequila, he couldn’t help but notice a couple at a nearby table being served a beautifully decorated platter with two giant meatballs…
The old farmer left his 17 horses to his three sons. The sons, Hansons, were faced with a dilemma as to how to divide the horses among themselves. The instructions were as follows: Since it was impossible to divide 17 by 2, 17 by 3, or 17 by 9 without fractions or decimals, the sons…
The next time you feel angry and tempted to say something hurtful to someone, pause and reflect on this story—it’s worth remembering. Once upon a time, there was a boy with a bad temper. His father gave him a bag of nails and instructed him that whenever he felt angry, he should hammer a nail…
An Irishman from Armagh entered the confessional and confessed to the priest, “I almost had sex with another woman.” The priest, taken aback, asked, “What do you mean ‘almost’?” “Well,” replied the Irishman, “we took off our clothes and rubbed together, but I stopped.” The priest sternly responded, “To intend to commit the act is…
On death row, there were a German, an Italian, and a redneck. The warden presented them with three options for execution: to be shot, hanged, or injected with the AIDS virus for a slow death. The German promptly chose to be shot in the head. With a boom, he died instantly. Next, the Italian opted…
An elderly couple is enjoying breakfast when the old woman turns to her husband and asks, “Honey, do you realize we’ve been married for 50 years?” “Yes,” he replies. “Fifty years ago, we sat right here at this breakfast table together. And I bet we were as naked as jaybirds.” The old woman giggles and…
The 92-year-old gentleman visited his yearly check-up, and the doctor, taken aback by his vigor, inquired, “How are you feeling?” The elderly man grinned, “Absolutely splendid, Doc! I’ve never been better!” Intrigued, the doctor asked, “What’s your secret? Any particular diet or exercise routine?” With a chuckle, the elderly man replied, “Not at all. I…
An elderly couple decided to spice up their love life and tried Viagra for the first time. The husband took the pill and, with a mischievous grin, said, “I’m ready for action!” His wife, equally excited, replied, “Well, be careful not to overdo it. We don’t want the neighbors thinking we’re having a yard sale!”
A man took his wife to a Broadway show. During the first intermission, he urgently needed to use the bathroom, so he hurriedly searched for it. However, all he found was a beautiful fountain surrounded by foliage. With nobody watching, he decided to relieve himself there. Upon returning to the auditorium, he realized that the…
